Moirails, Matespirits and All That Kind of Shit
by EpicMeister
Summary: "Gamzee, open the door!" Karkat pounded on the door as hard as he could, looking over his shoulder at the injured sea-dweller who was slowly getting up, and his frenzy continued with a more mad rate. "GAMZEE! LET ME THE FUCK IN!" Eridan re-adjusted his glasses, and started walking towards Karkat staggeringly. "GAMZEE!" "Hey motherfucker." and the door opened.
1. Eridan --- Wweh

Gamzee sighed, moving his hair out of his face. Blinking slowly, he looked at his digital black and purple clock. The clown sticker that he had put on a few months ago was starting to peel off and fade. Swiftly moving out from under his covers, he curled his toes under the dark violet carpeting that lay all over his floor. He frowned, something was out of place.

As he passed the cracked mirror that was hanging on his wardrobe, he realized what it was, and he felt the blood drain to his feet.

_Motherfuck. _

He half-ran-half-staggered to hid bathroom, throwing open the door and started searching for paint, make-up, powder, what-ever would cover his face. He snatched at his pale snow-coloured paints, unscrewing the lid and throwing it away. Nothing inside. He had finished. Taking shaky breaths, Gamzee ran out his room, and smashed into Feferi's. He clawed at it feebly, hoping she would answer.

A few moments later, she opened the door, and met eyes with Gamzee.

"Oh my glub, Gamzee!" Feferi swung her door open fully, trying to pull Gamzee in the best she could. Her apartment was more complex than Gamzee's, from her having fuchsia blood, the highest kind, signalizing her royalty. She dragged Gamzee somewhat into a comfy fuchsia coloured beanie bag, which he sunk into, shooting panicked looks at her. She cast a look over him.

No face paint.

A relaxed look fashioned over Feferi's face as she realized what he needed. She went into her restroom, and after a minute or so, came out with a palm-sized bottle, a mirror, and a small paintbrush. She handed them to him. "I think you can do this part on your own." she smiled, and Gamzee took the items from, her screwing off the lid and dunking the paint-brush inside, and began to plaster the paint onto his face with his eyes closed, not needing the mirror.

Feferi watched with a smiling face, as Gamzee opened his eyes, blinking slowly as he handed back the paint and brush to Feferi. A lazy smile draped itself luxuriously over his face, and he got up. "Motherfucking mirthful miracles, sis."

"I'm glad you're feeling better now Gamzee." Feferi answered, taking a few steps back as the taller troll went over to the door. "Would you like me to accompany you to your apartment, or would you like to go alone?"

"...I'm motherfuckin' cool, sis." Gamzee loped on, leaving the apartment. "Thanks the mirthful messiahs."

"Um... Alright?" Feferi gave a wobbly smile, not quite sure to say. "Stay safe, I guess."

Gamzee re-entered his apartment, and closed the door behind him, and went to his fridge, pulling out a bottle of cherry Faygo. He only had three bottles left, he would have to go back to the shop soon.

Seemingly having nothing else to do, Gamzee took a quick chug of his drink, then pulled out a sopor slime pie, and took a bite out of it.

_There we motherfucking go._ Gamzee smiled as everything started to change, and the mirthful messiahs let him see through their eyes. _Motherfucking miracles every-fucking-where._

He then moved to his present he had gotten from Kanaya a few... few... somethings ago, and logged onto Trollian.

**terminallyCapricious (TC) has logged on.**

Time to see who was online.

**carcinoGeneticist (CG) is online.**

**adiosToreador is online.**

**arachnidsGrip (AG) is online.**

**arsenicCatnip (AC) is online.**

**cuttlefishCuller (CC) is online.**

Before Gamzee could choose, he found himself chatting to Feferi.

**-cuttlefishCuller (CC) began trolling terminallyCapricious (TC)-**

**CC: glub glub glub! )(ow are you gamzee?**

**TC: hEy FiSh-SiS. i'M mOtHeRfUcKiNg FiNe NoW.**

**CC: glad to )(ear it! }8D**

**TC: nO pRoBlEm FiSh-SiS. hOnK! :o)**

**CC: )(a )(a, alrig)(t. GLUB GLUB S-E-E YOU LAT-ER!**

**TC: lAtEr?**

**CC: kanaya's party, remember?**

**TC: Oh, ThAt PaRty WaS tOdAy? :o(**

**CC: yes, w)(y so sad?**

**TC: I dIdN't GeT a MoThErFuCkInG mIrThFuL pReSeNt FoR cHaIn-CuLl-SiS. :o(**

**CC: O)()()()()()()()(... Welllll, if I were you, I would make one up or buy one right now. **

**TC: HoNk! :o). GoOd IdEa FiSh-SiS! uHhHhHhH...**

**CC: yes gamzee?**

**TC: WhAt ShOuLd I gEt ChAiN-cUlL-sIs?**

**CC: )(mm... well, her clown )(unting streak has subsided, but could come back again, so definitely not t)(at... OOOOOO)( Y-ESSSSS! I KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!**

**TC: hOnK? :o)**

**CC: you like to paint, riiiiiig)(t?**

**TC: yEaH?**

**CC: SOOOOO PAINT SOM-ET)(ING FOR H-ER! }8)**

**TC: :o). ThAt WaS tHe MoSt MiRtHfUl MoThErFuCkEr To SwIrL pAnS.**

**CC: )(ee )(ee. i'll take t)(at for a compliment. }8D **

**TC: fUcK yEaH, mOtHeRfUcKeR!**

**TC: sEe YoU lAtEr ThEn, FiSh-SiS! :o)**

**-terminallyCapricious (TC) stopped trolling cuttlefishCuller (CC)**

"Motherfucking miracles will be on Kana-sis's face when she see's my painting." Gamzee said, and got up, closing his gift and placing it down wherever, and continued to his 'mirthful' room. It was near the end of the hallway in his apartment, and the door itself had splatters of paint here and there, and a small clown painting that looked like it was bleeding in a corner of the door.

He pulled open the door, and a smile streaked across his face as his eyes lit up to some extent. He turned on the pale light switch, and the light flickered on. Gamzee plopped down into a stool in the corner, and started searching for his paints.

"Hey Karrrrrkat." Terezi draped herself over Karkat with ease, then nuzzled him some-what on the cheek and licked him as per usual, and Karkat wished she wouldn't dismiss something like the level of skin-ship that they were currently on as something so. Especially now that she was 'dating' Dave.

Stupid-fucking-Strider.

With-his-stupid-fuckass-beats.

"Get off." Karkat growled, pushing Terezi away and rubbing his cheek with his sleeve, a scowl coming onto his face. "Shouldn't you be off screwing around with Strider filling some stupid fuckass buckets or something?" he found his insults had no effect however, when Terezi laughed and slumped down even closer to Karkat, her glasses tipping down a bit.

"Don't need to get all bitchy and jealous now." she laughed again, and Karkat bit his lower lip, pushing her face away with one hand. "You had your chance with Ter-ma-ma but you skipped out on it, so now you only have to pay for your sins." she patted her heart and made a face like she was praying to Gog or some shit like that. "It's alright. Many fall for Ter-ma-ma, but she declines them all anyways. She's broken many hearts all for one little cool kid." she snickered at the end of her sentence with the same laugh that Karkat had come to... like, and he felt a muscle in the left part of his chest clench tightly and painfully.

"Good for you." Karkat pushed off the sofa he had been sitting on, moving quickly to his room; slamming the door shut and locking it behind him. Falling against his door, Karkat wrung his hands through his short hair, growling under his breath insults at Dave, making sure to miss his horns so he wouldn't accidentally touch them and do something embarrassing like moaning.

_And I have to see that fuckass today at Kanaya's wriggling day party... Just my Gog-damn luck._ He went over to his Husktop9, deciding to try to get his mind off things, and logged onto Trollian.

**carcinoGeneticist (CG) has logged on.**

**terminallyCapricious (TC) is online.**

**arachnidsGrip (AG) is online.**

**arsenicCatnip (AC) is online.**

**centaursTesticle** **(CT) is online.**

Right. Of course. Only the weirdo's would be online.

**-terminallyCapricious (TC) has started trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG)-**

**TC: hEy MoThErFuCkInG bEsTfRiEnD. :o)**

**CG: GAMZEE I DONT HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW.**

**TC: AwWwWw. :o(**

**CG: YEAH, BOO HOO HOO AND SHIT. GOOD FOR YOU. NOW GO AWAY.**

**TC:...Oh YeAh, I nEaRlY uP aNd FoRgOt. ;o)**

**CG: WHAT**

**TC: WhAt YoU gEtTiNg FoR KaNaYa?**

**CG:... WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I TELL YOU.**

**TC: AwWwW cOmE-oN mOtHeR-fUcKeRrRrRrRrRr :o(**

**CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO INTERESTED ANYWAYS.**

**CG: ARE YOU SUDDENLY FLUSHED FOR HER NOW OR SOMETHING.**

**TC: No BrO, i WaS jUsT cHeCkInG. :o)**

**CG: FUCKASS. ANYWAYS, I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW.**

**TC: AwW, mE tOo BrO! :o) aLl Up AnD mAkInG tHiS pReSeNt FoR KaNa-SiS, yOu KnOw?**

**CG:...IS IT A PAINTING**

**TC: hOw DiD yOu KnOw?**

**CG:...SHE LIKES CHAINSAWS. YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT.**

**TC: YeAh MoThErFuCkEr, I kNoW tHaT. :o) sHe LiKeS fLoWeR-sIs ToO rIgHt?**

**CG: WHO THE FLYING FUCK IS 'FLOWER-SIS.'**

**TC: UhHhHhHhH :o\ I tHinK hEr NaMe iS RoSe Or SoMetHiNg. **

**CG: NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK**

**TC: HoNk. :o) **

**CG: IM JUST GOING TO GO SUFFER NOW. **

**TC: HoNk? **

**CG: WHAT. NO.**

**TC: Ho-**

**CG: NO. STOP IT. SHUT UP.**

**TC: AwWwW. :o( Oh NeEd MoRe PuRpLe...**

**CG: USE YOUR BLOOD**

**TC: AwWwWwW kArBrO tHaT iS oNe MiRtHfUl BiTcHtItS oF An IdEa.**

**CG: WAIT. YOURE GONNA ACTUALLY DO THAT.**

**TC: :o)**

**CG: FUCK NO. DONT FUCKING DO IT.**

**TC: oKaY, cAlM dOwN bRo. :o)**

**CG: IM NOT GONNA CALM DOWN.**

**CG: IM IN A REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF MOOD RIGHT NOW.**

**CG: DONT YOU DARE TELL ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN.**

**CG: GAMZEE**

**CG: GAMZEE**

**CG: WHAT THE FUCK GAMZEE. **

**CG: ARE YOU EVEN ONLINE**

**CG: GAM-FUCKING-ZEE.**

**-terminallyCapricious (TC) ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG)-**

**CG: SHIT SHIT SHIT**

Karkat slammed his Husktop down, breathing heavily. Gamzee was stupid, but he wasn't that stupid... was he? No, he definitely was... crap. Crap crap crap. Karkat got up, and threw his door open, slipping his feet in his shoes as he ran out of his apartment, making for where Gamzee's apartment, somewhere on the tenth floor of the '_Sanctuary'_ Hotel.

"I'm going out to Gamzee's, I'll be back later." Karkat yelled at Terezi before he ran out of his door. "Close the door and bolt it while I'm gone."

_Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck._

He slammed his hand down on the elevator button, doing some sort of tap-dance while waiting for the escalator.

_Pretty fucking Earth please don't be cutting yourself._

Karkat practically flung himself into the elevator, smashing his index finger down on the 10th floor button, eyes wild as he pressed the close door button. At the last moment, two gray hands held the elevator doors in place, and they retracted as Eridan Amphora made his way into the elevator carrying a plastic bag. Karkat felt an awkward silence fall over them as Eridan pressed the close door button, and the lift started to move.

_I don't have time for this shit. Gamzee could be sober right now and-_

"Um, hey." Eridan said awkwardly, his accent as thick as ever. "Wwhats up Karkat?"

"Nothing much." Karkat tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible. "Just checking on Gamzee."

"Oh." Eridan said, and Karkat saw him squeeze the plastic bag in his hand. "Just checking on your moirail. Of course."

"What does that mean?" Karkat arched an eyebrow, fingers clenching and un-clenching. "Do you have anything against Gamzee?"

"Apart from the fact that he killed me, Fef, Nepeta and Equius, no, I don't." Eridan's voice had turned cold, his eyes dark as his glasses glinted somewhat in the lazy elevator lights. "I don't trust that troll, and I certainly vvouch for the fact that I don't believve I can trust him evver again."

"Coming from the fucking Prince of Hope, I'm sure that reassures me so much more now." Karkat replied, voice dry and full of sarcasm. "Listen Eri, could you honestly just please shut the fuck up? Fef has already forgiven Gamzee, and so has Nepeta and Equius." his eyes narrowed, as his tone became what Terezi liked to call 'spicy.' "So stop being such a _mother fucking_ drama fucking queen you shit head, just because Feferi and I aren't giving you attention. And for the count, you killed her first." the lift dinged as the doors opened, and Karkat stepped out in one fluid movement, over-flowing it pissed-off-ess, and the next thing he knew, he heard Eridan make a sort-of-growl sound, the kind that Gamzee made, and the Aquarius had Karkat pinned against the wall, something in his eyes that creeped Karkat the freaking fuck out.

"I'm not a fucking drama queen!" Eridan muttered, eyes flashing, and the next thing Karkat knew, Eridan was leaning way too close to him.

Karkat brought his knee up quickly, eyes wild, as he shoved Eridan away, ignoring the whimpers of pain from the higher blood, dashing straight towards Gamzee's apartment.

_BAM._

_BAM._

_**BAM.**_

"Gamzee, open the door!" Karkat pounded on the door as hard as he could, looking over his shoulder at the injured sea-dweller who was slowly getting up, and his frenzy continued with a more mad rate. "GAMZEE! LET ME THE FUCK IN!" Eridan re-adjusted his glasses, and started walking towards Karkat staggeringly. "GAMZEE!"

"Hey motherfucker." the door opened, and there Gamzee stood, smothered in paints, his make-up somewhat smudged so he looked sober, but Karkat knew from the dreamy voice he heard that his moirail was indeed stoned. But that was the least of his worries at the moment. Flinging himself in, Karkat slammed the door shut behind him, locking the door up as he slid down to his knees against the solid, somewhat musky-smelling wood, breathing in and out rapidly.

The fact that he was now eye-level with his moirail's bone bulge did not help this situation whatsoever.

"...Oh my gog." Karkat said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone, sending a quick text message to Kanaya.

**To: Kanaya Maryam**

**From: Karkat Vantas**

**GOGDAMMIT KANAYA, ERIDAN JUST TRIED TO MAKE OUT WITH ME. **

**ERIDAN. ERIDAN AMPHORA. TEREZI WILL GIVE YOU MY WRIGGLING **

**DAY PRESENT, I'M NOT GOING BACK DOWN THERE BY MYSELF. **

**CURRENTLY AT GAMZEE'S COMPLEX, WILL INFORM YOU IF ANYTHING**

**ELSE HAPPENS.**

**-SENT FROM MY PHONE-**

And then, "Bro, you motherfucking all up and okay?" Gamzee knelt down, a look somewhat in-between a grimace and a worried smile came onto his face, and Karkat glared back into a set of bright purple irises, setting his eyebrows into a stubborn frown. He shook his head, shoving his phone back into his pocket as he pulled himself closer, burying his face in his knees.

"Shoosh." he heard Gamzee say, and felt him papping him on the arm with one hand while the other brushed away the hair covering his fore-head, and something that was soft, warm, and sent shivers all over his body pressed against his skin. Something that made his face flush red as he realized what it was from his memories of his mass of romcoms. The feeling of warmth retreated, and Karkat looked up, to see the door at the end of his hallway with the clown on it closing, and Karkat wondered how he moved so fast for a moment before he reached up his hand to brush his forehead lightly with his fingers red all over his face now as he let the realization sink in.

_Gamzee just kissed me on the forehead._


	2. Karkat --- Hyperventilate

**AN: Holy shit. This story turned out better than I expected. SORRY BOUT THE SUUUUUPPPER LATE UPDATE MY LAPTOP WAS BROKEN, AND THEN I HAD SOOO MUCH TO DO ON MY TUMBLR ASK BLOG AND I JUST hdfkheioaewh!. :( NOW YOU FOLLOWERS AND SHIT. YOU FOLLOW BUT YOU NO REVIEW. WHY YOU NO REVIEW? please review :( it will only take a little tiny bit of your time :(( P.S. Sollux can pronounce 'Sh' sounds, like 'She' **

_Gamzee just kissed me on the forehead._

Karkat started hyperventilating.

Moirails weren't supposed to do shit like that... or did they? Gog-fucking-dammit, he had no idea. Wringing his hands in the air while making a weird gargling noise, Karkat Vantas flipped his shit. Nepeta hugged Equius in really intimidate ways sometimes, but they had been doing that for nearly forever and they were kind of like twin wrigglers born in different blood castes.

Karkat needed advice.

He _really_ needed advice.

Whipping out his phone, he turned it on to see a return text from Kanaya.

**To: Karkat Vantas**

**From: Kanaya Maryam**

**I See. Well, How Did This Happen? Did You Do Something **

**To Trigger Him To Just Snap? Or Did He Just Flip Randomly.**

**-Sent From My iPhone-**

Gah.

**To: Kanaya Maryam **

**From: Karkat Vantas**

**FUCK THAT OLD SHIT. I HAVE A BIGGER PROBLEM OVER HERE.**

**AND IT STARTS WITH A GAM- AND ENDS WITH A -ZEE FUCKING**

**MAKARA. JEGUS FUCK, WHAT IS IT WITH MALE TROLLS AND ME **

**TODAY?! ):B** **BY THE WAY HE TRIGGERED ME FIRST.**

**-SENT FROM MY PHONE-**

Now just to wait for Kanaya to answer. After a few minutes of just sitting down and doing nothing, Karkat grew bored, and the clown door became incredibly and disturbingly interesting, until the point where he kind of wanted to see what kind of painting Gamzee was making for Kanaya. Like, really really want to see.

Getting up quietly, Karkat tip-toed over to the door, and opened it a crack. What he saw next blew his mind.

Gamzee looked over, and saw his best-motherfucking-friend standing behind the door, a meek look in his eyes that widened into shock as soon as he took a closer look. Gamzee honestly couldn't blame him. His mirth-room was full of miracles everywhere, on the walls, the ceiling, and on the floor. Casting Karkat a lazy smirk-smile, he turned back to his work, dipping his fingers in some more paint before letting them loose on the canvas. He heard the door close, then the slight pattering of footsteps as Karkat walked over slowly.

"Hey Karbro." he said, not looking as he dabbed some-more peach paint onto the canvas. "What got you all up and over here?"

Karkat doesn't answer you, but stares at your painting instead, eyes somewhat wide. You laugh at his bafflement, and he quickly straightens up and scowls, looking away as a faint red blush powders his cheeks. You take this moment to snicker and paint some more, watching Karkat's face flush a tiny bit out of the corner of your eye.

"Shut up." your moirail swings his head away, looking to his right, before his eyes dart back to your painting. And they stay there.

You have no fucking words for this fucking painting. It's a near perfect picture of Rose sleeping on what seems to be a jade-tinted version of grass, a light shade of blush dusting her cheeks. She has small chainsaw earrings just peeking out from under her hair, and she seems exactly the same except for one thing that changes everything.

Rose is a troll.

Her blood-colour is the same as Kanaya's, jade, and her horns are three inches of smooth, but sharpened horns that curve backwards slightly while pointed upwards, and then spiral slightly at the top. Her lips were a pale green shade, somewhat similar to lime, and her hair was stark white instead of blond, like Callie's had been. Good gog Kanaya was going to hate this painting. Kanaya was going to hate it because it showed her what could solve all her romance problems, hate it because it was definitely Kanaya's vision of perfection, and hate it so much that she loved it.

Gog damn it, this was literally the best thing Gamzee could have given the jade-blood.

But Sollux himself would have to bow down and kiss the ground Karkat walked on before he would tell Gamzee that.

So instead he looked away quickly, red flushing his face, and concentrated on something, anything, to keep the red out of his face. Karkat cast a quick glance to Gamzee and see him snicker, then continue to paint. Karkat choose this moment to scowl, quickly crossing his arms over his chest and walking over to Gamzee to look for any flaws in his painting.

Totally not because he wanted to watch Gamzee paint.

"Gog-dammit Eri, do you know how annoying it is-" Sollux ripped open his door, hair still a mess, red and blue eyes glowering at the sea-dweller in front of him whose face was hidden by the purple and black bangs that strangely enough, fell into his face instead of being 'super-glued' up with hair gel. His scarf was ruffled and hanging loosely on his shoulders, and his clothes looked less 'royal' and shit like that. Not to mention the violet-bloods lack of posture. What Eridan did next though, explained his messy attire.

"Why does no-one love meeee?" Eridan bawled, launching forwards like a rocket and latching onto Sollux like a baby, tears flying out of his eyes. Sollux rolled his eyes from behind his glasses. Now it all made sense. Sighing and slightly pushing Eridan off him so he could help him into his apartment, Sollux helped Eridan inside before closing the door behind him.

"Did you attack Karkat and confess to him or what?" Sollux sat Eridan in his sofa, and then sat himself down, far away on the left of the sea-dweller.

Eridan started sniffling really loudly the moment he spoke, and Sollux begun to regret speaking as Eridan somehow ended up stuck onto him again, bawling into his dark mustard hoodie. Slapping one hand onto his face and dragging it down, rolling his eyes for the second time that day, before awkwardly rubbing Eridan's back with one hand.

"IjustsnappedandIdontknowwwwh yhestilllikesGamsomuchevvena fterhekilledsomanyofusanditw wasntfairandIdontknowwwwhyId iditImsosorrypleasemakeitalr ightagainI'lldoanythingtomakeitalrighta gainplease," Eridan sobbed, clinging onto Sollux like he was a starving man-troll, whatever, and Sollux was gog-damned hydrating food. Sollux just shook his head slightly, and rested his chin somewhat on Eridan's head, wondering why the fuck he was comforting his kismesis like this.

"...dude, get the fuck off me." Sollux abruptly pushed Eridan off, trying to clear his head. "We're fucking in fucking kismesissitude together, we shouldn't be even _thinking_ about doing this kind of thing." Eridan looked up at him, eyes all big and-fucking bright violet and so fucking- no. no no no. You needed to stop. Stop stop stop stop stop.

"S-sorry Sol." Eridan pulled away, his hand retracted from Sollux's shirt, only to clutch onto its hem, sniffing loudly, violet tear-drops falling off his long lashes and onto his lap, the skin on his nose turning a light shade of violet, as well the edges of his eyes. A small area of his bottom lip, which had probably been bitten, was a deep violet. Gog-dammit you couldn't get the stupid asshole off your head. "I j-just wwent in for a hug and I guess you don't like that kind of thing, and I wwon't do it again, I just wwanted some attention and affection and I'm real sorry Sol, I just-"

"Thuth. The fuck up. Jutht thut the fuck up for a moment." Sollux cursed himself inwardly for letting his lisp slip, and covered Eridan's mouth with one hand, using the

other to run through his own hair, the migraine that was threatening to appear in his head thanks to Eridan looming up. Closing his eyes, he let out a huff, reaching out for his phone, and started going through his contact list. "She better fucking reply or I thwear I'm going to..."

"Kanaya, would you be a darling and pass my lap- er, Husktop?" Rose gave the jade-blood a half-smirk,half-smile, and the jade-blood smiled back, pleased at her human matesprit's use of the troll word, easily reaching over to the smooth dark brown table in front of the deep green sofa they were sitting on, before holding it out to the blond human, who took the object, then placing her hand over the rainbow-drinkers hand.

A light layer of jade dusted over Kanaya's cheeks as she gave Rose's hand a squeeze before retrieving her phone out of her pocket with her free hand.

**To: Kanaya Maryam**

**From: Sollux Captor**

**kanaya. erii me22ed up biig tiime wiith kk. and now he2 blubberiing all over me liike a diip2hiit. and iits giiviing me a fuckiing miigraiine and for some fucked up rea2on ii feel really siick around the a22hat now.**

**-2ent from my galaxy nexu2.-**

This... was interesting. Kanaya let a small smile fall upon her lips, and Rose looked over, leaning closer to her, a smile appearing on her face as well as soon as she read the message. "Ooh, a good plot for a fanfiction." she cooed, then pointed one dark finger-nail at the screen. "Look, Karkat's messaged you as well."

**To: Kanaya Maryam**

**From: Karkat Vantas**

**FUCK THAT OLD SHIT. I HAVE A BIGGER PROBLEM OVER HERE.**

**AND IT STARTS WITH A GAM- AND ENDS WITH A -ZEE FUCKING**

**MAKARA. JEGUS FUCK, WHAT IS IT WITH MALE TROLLS AND ME **

**TODAY?! ):B** **BY THE WAY HE TRIGGERED ME FIRST.**

**-SENT FROM MY PHONE-**

"Good plot for a fanfiction indeed." Kanaya murmured, smiling a little. "Why they all come to me when they have problems though, I'll never quite understand. Maybe because of my Dolorosa descent...?"

Rose gave a light, fluttery laugh. "Kanaya, I know for a fact that your ancestor has nothing to do with this. The other trolls look up to you like a child would to a mother, or... a wriggler to its... lusus." the blonde human's violet eyes met with the rainbow-drinker troll's jade ones as Rose leaned closer so their fore-heads were touching. "They respect you, out of fear, adoration, and love."

"I'm not quite sure about the 'love' part of your empathy speech for me, but I have to admit that I am quite flattered right now." Kanaya closed her eyes and leaned closer into her human matesprit's touch-

_"You shoot me down, but I won't fall, I am titanium..."_

Kanaya blushed profusely, fumbling around a bit for her phone before cutting off the music and answering the call. "Hello, Kanaya Maryam here. How can I help-"

"_OH-MY-FUCKING-GOG KANAYA HE CAN FUCKING PAINT."_ The extremely loud whisper-scream exploded out from her phone, and Kanaya held the device away from her ear with a slight wince, covering the speaker daintily with one hand for a moment, then returned her ear to the phone when the shrieking died down. _"-AND NO-ONE TOLD ME HE COULD PAINT! WHY DID NO-ONE FUCKING TELL ME MY FUCKING PSYCHOPATH MOIRAIL COULD PAINT SOMETHING OTHER THAN HIS FUCKING 'MIRACLES?!' NO, WAIT, DON'T ANSWER THAT. IT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION. THAT MEANS A QUESTION THATS NOT MEANT TO BE ANSWERED, BY THE WAY. AND-"_

"Karkat, calm down." Kanaya said calmly, smiling fondly a bit as a long string of swear words tumbled out of the younger trolls mouth, then she heard loud and slow inhales and exhales of air. "Good. Now, explain your situation to me. _Calmly._"

"...Okay." Karkat's voice answered from the phone after awhile. "...So I was in the lift, going to Gamzee's place. Because he wrote this thing to me on Trollian that got me all worried and shit, so I went to check on him, right? Then... Eridan joined me the lift. And of course, being Eridan, he started a fucking conversation. And _then_ the nook-sniffer started bitching about Gamzee, right? So I defended him, since he was my moirail. But then I called him a drama queen and left the lift and he started coming onto me and shit, so I just panickedandthenIbroughtupmyk neeandranawayandpoundedonGam zee'sdoorand..." Karkat's voice trailed off. "Left Eridan outside, with his stupid one-sided red hearts, and proceeded to have a panic-attack."

"I see." Kanaya answered, chewing lightly on her lower lip. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can inform you with confidence that Eridan is now safely in Sollux's... make-shift hive, and Sollux is taking care of him to the best extent that he can."

"Sollux gets fucking migraines around the fishy-bulge-sucker." Karkat growled, and Kanaya sighed.

"Calm down, Karkat. Eridan is having his own problems, as are you." Kanaya replied. "And Sollux is perfectly... fine at the moment. And they _are _both kismesis partners, I doubt they'd let the other die, given Eridan's need for others in his quadrants and Sollux's need to vent out stress."

"...Fine." Karkat replied. "I'll go call Terezi and ask her to bring my gift over. I'll see you at your wriggling day party later, alright?"

"That is fine." Kanaya smiled, closing her eyes for a moment. "Goodbye, Karkat."

"Bye." the line clicked off, and Kanaya brought the phone away from her ear, letting out a sigh.


	3. Kanaya --- Worry

**AN: 3333333333 A GAZILLION HEARTS TO ALL YOU LOVELIES! (=^UwU^=) Thks so much for all the follows and favourites! They really make my day! Dont forget to review! :3 and arrrghhh i dont know how to do Feferi's fishy puns!**

"You look beautiful, Kanaya." Rose smiled gently, and gave Kanaya a quick peck on the cheek, causing the jade-blood to blush lightly and smile, linking hands with the violet-eyed human.

"You look better, it might as well be your wriggling day party." Kanaya replied, giving her hand a quick squeeze as she took another look at the clothes she had made for Rose that day. A long, white dress that faded to a pastel purple that ruffled out at the ends, and a belt with her emblem, a purple skull, in the middle. Rose smiled and touched her spare hand to Kanaya's cheek.

"Kanaya, it's _your_ birthday." Rose murmured. "You should be thinking about yourself today, not me." she moved her hand from Kanaya's cheek to her lips when she tried to speak, a all-knowing smirk-smile on her lips. "Besides, we both know why you're so nervous. You know Karkat isn't a... er, wriggler anymore, right?"

"I know Rose, it's just... I've looking out for him for as long as I can remember." Kanaya looked down at the floor, biting her lower lip. "He's like a human son or brother to me, and I don't know what to do now that I've realized that he's not small anymore." Kanaya's voice was shaking, and she cursed herself for showing such a side to her human lover.

"Kanaya, darling." Rose said, and Kanaya looked to her and saw a loving look cross her violet eyed human. _Her_ violet eyed human. Rose's smile, to her, was brighter than her Light aspect could ever hope to be. "I know it's hard to let him go, but you have to. Karkat isn't a baby anymore, and you can't pretend he's one either. I know you're scared for his safety after what... Eridan did, but you have to learn to release him." a sorrowful look flitted across her face.

"You can try, but you just can't have him to yourself forever."

And with that sentence, came her undoing.

"I-I..." Kanaya suddenly found herself choking on sobs, covering her eyes with one hand, her shoulders shaking and chest heaving as she fought to keep back the tears and to breathe and to talk. "I... know but whenever I look at him I see... a sweet, sweet troll... then I blink and I think "What if I'm not there something bad happens and hes crying" and it doesnt matter that he's friends with highbloods they still.. hurt him and it's never going to stop no matter what I try and..." the tears spilled from her eyes, warm to her cool skin, and a light jade. She heard a soothing whisper of sweet words tumbling from Rose's mouth as the human enveloped her in a gentle and warm embrace.

"Shush now." Rose stroked her hair. "It's your birthday, we don't want you looking silly for your special day, do we?" Kanaya shook her head, and mumbled an apology before brushing away the last of her tears. "Now, let's fix up your make-up, and everything will be fine. The others are arriving in an hour, and I want your 'respiteblock' to look as nice as it can."

"Okay." Kanaya mumbled, letting Rose stand back and put her hands on her shoulders. "I'll do my best."

"I know you will." Rose planted a quick kiss on Kanaya's cheek for the second time that day, and then continued to pull her into their 'beauty parlor' so they could freshen up.

"Joooooooohn." Vriska drawled, watching the dark haired human carefully through her glasses. "Are you ready yet? I've been waiting 8-everrrrrr." she lazily swung her leg up and down, stretching out on the sofa. "John your couch is _so_ cramped."

"Then don't lie on it." John replied idly, his fingers moving swiftly so he could tie his bowtie, which was currently refusing to look presentable. "I knew I should have bought a clip on." Vriska sighed, a long, dragged out and over-exaggerated sound, before she got off the couch and dragged herself over to John, knocking away his hands and tying his bow-tie, within a matter of 10 seconds.

"There, Mr. Fancy-pants, can we go now?" Vriska arched up one thin eyebrow, hands on her hips. "I mean, I did just make your suuuuuuuuper impossible bow-thingy, and I don't think you really have anything else that you need to do that'll take tons of time." she smirked at the last bit, her lips quirking up playfully.

"Um, yeah. Lets go." John said, taking his jacket and putting it on, while Vriska said 'Thaaaaaaaank you Mr. Egderp!' and walked past her, making for his door before he remembered his manners and turned to Vriska, scratching the back of his head with one hand. "Uh, you wanna go, like, first?"

"How _generous, '_Tavros'." Vriska rolled her eyes, her tone mocking, then walked past John and into the hallway, before speeding up her walking and waiting in front of the lift for John. She pressed the 'up' button eight times, before turning around promptly and glaring at John all the while he made his way over to her.

"Why in such a hurry?" John asked, double checking that the dark green bag he held contained the present he had wrapped. "I haven't seen you this worried since Tavros' robot legs stopped working and Equius had to fix them." the elevator doors opened.

"Shut up about that, would you?" Vriska socked John lightly on the arm, getting in the lift and pressing a button and saying 'close' out loud, before the elevator started moving. "Anyways, you should be more concerned if Kanaya likes your gift. I know that she'll _obviously_ appreciate mine, but honestly? Jewelery? That's like, _soooooooo_ old fashioned, honestly!"

"Then Vriska, how are you so sure she'll like _your_ gift?" John leaned closer, quirking up an eyebrow. Vriska threw back her head a little, and laughed maniacally, before looking John in the eye and smirking, flipping her hair off her shoulder with one hand.

"_Becaaaaaaaause_ John, I manipulated a _lot_ of people to get where I am now." she declared, lifting her chin up proudly. "_And,_ I've planned everything out. I know _exactly_ how this party is gonna go down!"

John rolled his eyes as the elevator went _ding!_ and the doors opened. "Yeah, I kinda doubt that everything's gonna play into your hands." he hesitated, before holding out his arm, quirking up an eyebrow questionably at Vriska. "So... you wanna go in with style, or what?"

Vriska simply skipped forwards, rummaging around in the pocket of her cobalt blue chiffon dress, before flashing him a thumbs-up and looping her arm through his, and putting on her best smile. "Ok. Knock on the door on the count of eight. One, two, three, four-"

John rapped his knuckles on the door, stifling a laugh when Vriska elbowed him in the side, then standing up straight again when Rose answered the door, an all-knowing look on her face. She gave a little smile at the sight of the two, giving John a quick hug, and Vriska one as well, to which she patted Rose's back, smiling a real smile.

"Well, lets go in." Rose stepped back making a sweeping gesture with her hand, and smiling all-too-sweetly, before waiting patiently till the two went in, closing the door after them. "Place your gifts over there, on the sofa, please." she nimbly smoothed her dress.

"Rose, who was that at the-" Kanaya walked into the room, wearing a dark purple shirt and long red pants, her face bare of make-up. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw John and Vriska, and she looked down at her choice of clothing, and sighed. "Oh... I wasn't expecting visitors yet. Please excuse my appearance." she un-consciously fidgeted with her shirt, glancing at the duo by the sofa, before returning her gaze to the ground. "Honestly, I really wasn't expecting anyone to arrive exactly at one in the afternoon, although it might have said that the party started at that time on the invite, but what I'm trying to say is that I didn't think anyone would really arrive at that time. Maybe I expected the majority of people and trolls arrive much later? Well, anyways-"

"Kanaya, you're rambling." Rose said gently, a soft smile on her lips. Kanaya's eyes widened again, and she covered her mouth with one hand, immediately murmuring apologies, while Rose laughed, and Vriska and John exchanged glances.

"_This is really awkward._" Vriska muttered under her breath at John, faking a smile the whole time.

"_I see why you don't like super close relationships."_ John replied, a faked smile on his face as well.

"Erm, but I am quite glad that you two came." Kanaya smiled, walking towards them. Vriska's eyes widened, and she squirmed un-comfortably as Kanaya hugged John, who looked surprised at first, but then laughed aloud, and hugged her back. Kanaya stepped back from the embrace, and smiled at Vriska.

Honestly, Vriska was beyond surprise by the time Kanaya had hugged her.

Hesitating for a moment, Vriska shook her head inwardly, and then smiled behind Kanaya's hair, as she hugged the other troll back.

John nudged Rose, who merely smiled mysteriously in return, putting a finger to her lips when John was about to ask her a question.

"Ah, let's not hug anymore." Vriska suggested, stepping back, and smiling awkwardly. "Thanks for the invite."

"Rose said it would be better to invite everyone." Kanaya smiled warmly. "Now, if you would excuse me, I need to go get ready." the jade-blood left the room, feeling successful.

"Tavros isn't with you?" Rose raised an eyebrow at Vriska, who shrugged.

"Aradia said she was gonna bring him. Team Fai- Charge shenanigans, I guess."

"Gamzee, hurry the _fuck_ up." Karkat's voice resounded through the apartment, and the sound of an extremely loud 'HONK' answered him. "That isn't an answer, _FUCKASS._"

"Sorry, best friend." Gamzee appeared in the hallway, holding a huge present, which was un-undoubtedly the painting. He flashed a lazy smile in Karkat's direction, which completely went un-noticed by his moirail, seeing that his back was turned to him, as Karkat was removing one of Gamzee's fur hoodies from his coat hangar, and attempting to put it on.

"Hey, Karbro. Where's your miraculous present for chain-cull-sis?" Gamzee sauntered over to where the shorter troll was, pulling on his shoes slowly, and then taking a dark purple fancy jacket out, and pulling it on with ease. He watched Karkat as he tried to stuff the dark beige hoodie over his grey and black suit, and Gamzee let out a 'honk' of amusement, before pulling down the hoodie for his bro.

"Terezi's bringing it. And I'm not a fucking wiggler, and you're not my fucking lusus. I can dress myself-" Karkat gaped at Gamzee's appearance. He seemed to be wearing what John would call a 'circus outfit.' If he had to be specific, he would have called it the 'Ring-masters choice of clothing.' The clown-troll bore long, striped purple and grey pants, and a short dark purple jacket, with a fancy white and orange button-up long-sleeved shirt. And for probably the first time in his life, his hair was combed properly. "...Gamzee, where the ever-loving _fuck_ did you get that outfit?"

"What, this little miracle?" Gamzee laughed, holding his arms out and looking down on his clothes. "You know, around." Gamzee let out another honk, picking up a large bag which contained Kanaya's present, and 'booped' Karkat on the nose, causing the shorter troll the scowl and flush slightly, slapping his hand away.

Karkat rolled his eyes, then left the room, Gamzee following suit, then locked the door.

The two were just in the elevator when Karkat heard a voice.

"Glubbing Eridan Ampora! Gamzee, Karfish, _wait!_" Gamzee pressed the 'doors open' button, and Feferi ran into the elevator, clutching a huge bag that had been wrapped in grub-silk, and a tyrian purple bow. "What use is a moirail if they can't be there for you before a party?" Feferi frowned, putting the huge bag down. "I asked if we could re-start for a _reason!_ Does he think that just because I'm being super nice to him, that he can just _leave_ me before a huge party? I had it all planned out, I was gonna help him with his clothes and he was going to look so nice and everything was going to be _perfect!_ Eridan you big jerk!"

Karkat looked at Feferi with a sad glance, and patted her shoulder, glancing at Gamzee momentarily, before looking back at the depressed heiress. "Honestly, I don't know why you got together with the nook-sucker again anyways. Especially after he... well, you know what he did to you. _And_ his current fucking behavior, Jesus fucking Christ."

"Oh, I forgive him for what he did. It's common highblood attituna, after all. There are _much_ worse moirails out there, and Eridan has... shell, Eridan has his own problems. And his current behaviour? What are you talking about, Karfish?" the Heiress frowned at Karkat. "How would you know about Eridan, anyways? He doesn't go out that often these days, and he said he didn't want to hang out with lowerbloods, no offinse."

Karkat's face flushed red, and he scowled. "_Some_ fucking fin-beast-wriggler came up to me in the lift and tried to initiate a sloppy-fucking-makeout between me and him. I kneed him in the nook and absconded to Gamzee's respite block, of course."

"Al-_ready?_" Feferi's voice came out as a high-pitched squeak, and she blushed a deep fuchsia, before continuing. "I mean, sorry to say this behind Eridan's back, but I specifincally _told him_ not to approach you yet! He was so worried, and... oh no, this is all probably my fault! I told him he was stupid, and laughed when he told me his plans... I've been such a bad moirail, again..."

Karkat sucked in a breath, and took a quick glance at Gamzee, and then Feferi, not sure what to do. "Feferi-"

"Man, Fef-sis, you gotta get your chill on." Gamzee said lazily, as the lift went _ding!_ He sauntered towards the Heiress, smiling lopsidedly as the present sung before he spoke again. "Stop thinking about all these motherfucking complications and just _relax,_ you get what I'm saying?"

"N-not really," Feferi gave Gamzee a wobbly smile, looking up at the taller troll. "But thank you anyways, Gamzee. I... think I kinda get what you're saying."

"Sweet, motherfucker." Gamzee walked out of the elevator, and Karkat ran after him, casting a sympathetic glance at Feferi, who smiled back and pulled her giant gift out of the lift, and started walking slowly to Kanaya's party.

"You are so fucked for this party." Sollux said curtly, glaring at the wall while he heard Eridan curse and bump around behind him. "I don't even know why a loner like you would want to go, no-one wants to see your ugly face. And I don't see why _I_ had to come to your fucking respite-block _4 hours early_ just so you could change."

"Sollux, shut the fuck up-" the was the sound of a yelp and someone tripping over, following with a smashing-sound, and Eridan cursing shakily. "-I've already let Feferi down, I'm not going to screw up the rest a' the party. And you had to come here four hours early because _I knew_ you wouldn't help me wash my hair or choose my clothes, like Feferi would'a, so I had to do it myself, and it would take more time, _obviously."_

"What kind of fucking kismesis helps the other with in an ablution trap?" Sollux muttered, sorely tempted to take off his glasses and burn a hole into the floor. "That's for moirails or matesprits, you dumb shit- holy fuck ED, get off me _now._" he turned his head and hissed at the other, who stuck out his tongue in return.

"Aw, shut up." Eridan said, getting off the other and correcting his glasses, which had been knocked slightly askew. "_Cod_, I just _tripped,_ alright? No need to get your human metaphorical panties in a twist, jeez." and he smoothened out his cream white shirt, re-adjusting his purple tie and scarf, and patted his pants twice, before standing up straight and looking at Sollux, with a more professional eye.

"Ew. Stop eyeing me, fish-dick. Makes me feel gross." Sollux fidgeted, right eye twitching as Eridan circled around his once, and sighed loudly. "What?! I know I'm not a fucking masterpiece, but you don't have to be such an asshole and look so... pitiful. Wait, are you aiming for another quad with me? Aw _gross,_ listen ED, I don't want to-"

"Sol, shut the fuck up an' strip." Eridan interrupted, rubbing his temples.

_"Wait,_ what?!" Sollux spluttered, face going yellow as he squinted at his kismesis. "ED, you cannot be fucking serious,-"

"Not that way, you blubbering ass." Eridan's face flushed violet as he glowered at him, fins swishing slightly. "You look like a piece a' shit, and I've taken it upon myself to help you out."

"You know, you really don't have to." Sollux commented dryly, holding up his arms with an over-exaggerated sigh when Eridan motioned for him to move up his arms. "Really, I don't give a fuck."

"But I _do._ Sol, do you really think I would let you waltz into the place with me dressed _shabbily?_" He gave Sollux a face, and the yellow-blood muttered 'no.' He stood back, smirking. "Exactly. Now do as I said, and strip, before I'm forced to undress you myself."


End file.
